Let me clarify by stating that I am not referring to stay at home moms. I am talking about women who work 40+ hours a week and still have time to spend quality time with their little one, do the laundry, cook dinner, clean, grocery shop, and manage to also look good while doing it. Oh and working out needs to fit in there somehow. I am not trying to downplay women who are stay at home moms. I totally understand it IS a full time job. I actually have a better understanding of that now that I am a working mom. If you are a SAHM imagine getting what you get done in a week and then imagine doing it working 40 plus hours on top of that-is your head exploding yet because mine is starting to spin around.
The first 2 weeks as a working mom I was thinking it wasn't as bad as I thought. Sure I missed Lilly more than anything-still do. But then the laundry piled up and the kitchen didn't stay clean for long, and did you know bathrooms do NOT clean themselves? Ok you SAHM's out there are probably saying-yes but you have time to yourself at work-we have to deal with our children all day. For some women that may be the case but I don't see it that way. I am at WORK and as much as I love my job it's work-not time to myself at all. I can't run errands, do laundry, or start dinner while at work. I am working. Basically I have to get done in 4 hours what a SAHM can get done over a course of an entire day. I.feel.like.a.crazy.person. Yesterday I was up at 4:30am to give Lilly a bottle and did a load of laundry. YUP that is when I have time to do it at 4:30am.
Oh yea! So last week I met up with a friend of mine for lunch who is also a working mom. We worked at UMBC together in different departments and through the magical world of social networking became fb friends. She doesn't work too far from where I do so we decided to meet up for lunch and swap new mom horror stories. I felt so validated after talking with her. It really made me feel a sense of relief that I am not the only one feeling like a crazy person. We determined that the super mom phenomenon is a myth...no one really can have it all. These women who can work, run marathons, look great 24/7, have a clean house, etc. are either living in some time warp where they actually have 48 hours in their day OR they are just full of it. My vote is for the later.
I think I need to come to terms with the fact that my house isn't going to look spotless anymore, my pre-baby body has vanished in the wind and has made me realize that Heidi Klum MUST be an alien and that roots are cool. Don't get me wrong-I LOVE more than anything in the world being a mom. Lilly is the best thing ever and my heart hurts with the amount of love I feel for this little being. But it's not easy. I know now why my mom always lectured me about "no hanky panky" in high school. Being a mother isn't easy and it just gets harder. Its the hardest yet most rewarding job I will ever have.
Even after all that I have said I would NEVER ever trade this life I am living for anything in the world. Bring it-is all I have to say. While I may not be able to have it all from an outsiders prospective I think I am pretty darn close and when Lilly looks at me when I come in the door each day at 6pm and smiles her big toothless grin-I feel like a SUPER mom!
I've never commented on your blog but I couldn't pass this one up! I do enjoy it, you have an adorable family. :) I did LOL, though, at the whole stay at home vs working mom thing. I'm a stay at home mom and the grass isn't always greener, haha! I know my working mom friends have a hard time finding a balance but it does go both ways. I just thought it was funny when you said you can't run errands, do laundry, start dinner or keep the house clean since you're at work all day. Yes, it's nice to be able to do/start those things during the day but errands aren't necessarily fun or easy with a baby and a toddler. When the baby is crying and the toddler is throwing a tantrum because I won't let him walk on his own through Target, it's tempting to drop it all and just leave. Plus, most of the things I start (cleaning, laundry, dinner) don't get done when I start them and plan to get them done. I get interrupted by a crying or hungry baby, a hungry toddler, diaper changes, falls, toy requests, trips to the doctor, I could go on and on. Most of the time I end up scrambling at the end of night, after they go to bed, to get things done..just like you.
ReplyDeleteI am, by no means, saying one is harder or easier than the other. I know you weren't implying that either..I just wanted to give you an example of how it is on the other side. I love my kids to death but there are days I wish I could go do another job for a few hours or I get jealous that my husband has time in a quiet car to unwind after his day. I hope you don't take my comment the wrong way! I was just trying to play devil's advocate. :)
Thanks for reading Melissa! Glad you enjoy it. Totally know what you are saying. There are ups and downs about it all and I totally didn't take your comment the wrong way. One of my points was that really no matter what you are there is really no such thing as a super mom...we're all pretty super in my opinion. I actually have the deepest respect now more than ever for SAHM because I get home from work, my husband goes to work and I am left to try to get all of that done that doesn't end up getting done. I think I need to learn just to let go of a few things to save my sanity. A lot of SAHM's think that the working mom gets me time while at work but that is a bunch of baloney-just like we working moms think you SAHM's get it all done! :) The grass is definitely always greener :). Thanks for the comment-if you are interested it would be interesting to see this super mom post from a SAHM point of view-if you want to go a guest blog..I'd be happy to post it!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree there is no such thing as a super mom..I hate when people try to portray that, haha! It's SO hard to find a balance after kids so I feel ya there. I always give working moms credit because I can imagine it's hard being away all day. And because it's tough for ME to get things done staying home, I know it has to be hard for you. I'm glad you didn't take my comment offensively!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, your little girl is adorable. :) My youngest is just a week or 2 older than her! They're getting to such a fun stage right now. :)
Totally agree that all moms are super!
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I do think it gets easier the longer you are back at work. I started back to work when Noah was 6 weeks old, so I've been back for a little over 9 weeks now. I finally started working out again this week, but, like you, I'm having to get up pretty early to find the extra time.
A couple of things that have helped me are sticking with doing laundry on the weekends when I can and using the crock pot for meals when I'm short on time! Seriously, it's a lifesaver some days. My hubby also helps with some of the cooking if he knows I'm going to be late getting in after picking Noah up, so that's a relief, too.
Just keep working at it, but remember that nothing is more important than Lilly and spending quality time with her. The housework can wait!