Baby #2-The TEST

I began writing this post on 9/10/2012-it may not be coherently written because well...read on and you will see..

Today I took a pregnancy test-it was positive. Today I have felt a whole range of emotions:  nervous, excited, FREAKED OUT and even sad.

Yup I said it-sad-while I am happy and excited that Lilly gets to be a big sister, part of me is sad because she isn't going to be an only child anymore and as much as I want a brother and sister for her I am sad to know that the 9 months ahead are going to be the last she gets our undivided attention.  I just hope she truely realizes how special these days were to me-this new baby won't have that-it's something only Lilly and I will ever share and part of me likes that. 

I am also nervous-We weren't trying but we weren't preventing other than the 'natural' way-which isn't 100% fail proof-DUH-Case in point why this post has even been started in the first place.  There is so much that goes into planning and so much to think about.  I have to tell Tommy when I get home-how am I going to tell him??? It's more of an excited nervous and anxious-nothing bad really.
I am also FREAKED OUT-I am going to have TWO kids this time next year.  In May which isn't THAT far away.  I am due May 15th.  HOLY CRAP is what just keeps going through my head.  I also don't have a doctor-double HOLY CRAP.  In the Spring my wonderful amazing doctor had a heart attack.  He's recovered but isn't an OB anymore-just consulting SOOOO I can either just take the guy who took over his practice or try to find someone else-I am kind of dreading this. 

So.  Here is how it all went down...

I kind of knew I was pregnant.  My 'scheduled' day for my period came and went and I woke up this morning-5 days later- just feeling it.  My fit hit the floor and I said to myself-yep-I am pregnant.  I had this crazy floaty out of body feeling all morning and finally I just had to know-so I ran to Target on my lunch break (which I took at 11:15) to get a test.  I ran to the 4th floor bathroom where thankfully no one hardly ever goes and peed on the darn thing.  I counted to 60 3 times kicking myself for not bringing my cell phone to time it.  I added a few more seconds at the end and turned the test over...there it was a faint, but there, plus sign.

HOLY CRAP.