Don't make me come in there!

Clarence is officially punished!  Tommy said so- when I told him the news.  He/she is just not listening already.  Can you imagine what it's going to be like when he/she is a teenager.  We are in for it! 

The baby is still high, head down, with some thinning but again still not dilated so basically there has been no progress since my visit Friday morning.  The doc gave me a few options- 1. Have the baby via c-section asap as currently an induction wouldn't do anything and if I chose to be induced now most likely I would have to have a c-section anyway or 2-wait it out and see if I go into labor on my own-if not I will see him on Thursday and see if there has been any progress and based on that either get induced or have a c-section Friday.  I chose option 2.   

I guess what I am feeling now is disappointment/excitement.  Disappointed I may not go into labor as I planned, yet excited to know that my baby is almost here!  I still can go into labor any day now but if not I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I may need a c-section.  I really want this baby come on his/her own.  I am a planner and while you may think I would be thrilled to 'schedule' the day my son or daughter is born I had planned to just let it happen-just as we had planned on not finding out the sex. My heart was really set on that experience-getting excited with Tommy as we rush around nervously gathering the hospital bags and cameras then driving blindly to the hospital and finally pushing and crying and then holding my little one for the first time right away.  Now my experience may be totally different.  While it may be special in its own way it's just not what I had in mind.  I have done no research on c-sections so I don't know what to expect.  Not to mention I've never had as much as a broken finger so the thought of having surgery and being cut open makes me a bit nervous.  I've been trying to read as much as I can and learn what I can expect but every experience is different so I just hope that all goes well.  I trust my doctor and know that he's going to give me the best advice as he's one of the best out there so that is reassuring.  But it wasn't in my plan!!!  Wah wah!  So I have a right to be slightly disappointed right?!  What is making this all better is that either way we will have a beautiful little baby to love and that will love us no matter how he/she was brought into this world.  I just need to get over the fact that the birth plan just got thrown out of the window.  Getting over it has commenced because...


1-I've caught up on my Real Housewives of Orange County episodes (man those ladies are something else!)-trashy tv shows are great for mending any ailment or taking your mind off of things. 
2- I have cleaned every inch of my house-yup as much cleaning as I have done I went one step further and cleaned windows, pulled out the couches, vacuumed Christmas cookies that were crushed under the couch cushions (gasp how did I not know they were there!), and was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors and baseboards.
3-I ate a King sized Caramello bar all by myself (AND will probably have ice cream later)
4-I had my husband home for dinner to make me laugh-there is nothing better!  
5-I have talked with my mom-another positive force! 

Maybe it's all supposed to work this way... but I will still hope that my 'plan' will go into effect and this baby will stop being stubborn and come on its own.  I just keep thinking of the typical angry parent saying: "Don't make me come in there!"  and I just am thinking for me it's more like a plea-Please don't make the doctor 'come in there' and get you-just come on out on your own with the doctor just there to 'catch' you-we promise we won't punish you-we're just kidding we swear.  Maybe the baby was just as appalled as I was that there were crushed cookies under my couch cushions and now that they are clean will decide to come out tonight, tomorrow, or Wednesday...but no matter when the baby decides or doesn't decide to come we will be snuggling with our baby by the weekend!