Lillian Grace's Birth Day

**Disclaimer:  This may get overly detailed so if you don't care to hear the 'wonders' of childbirth feel free to skip this post.  It's also my longest post ever!  :)

What we hadn't planned on happening did and after my appointment on the 24th with still no progress I was scheduled for a c-section-details can be found in my previous post: Last blog post before.... Long story short the baby was too big to drop and dilate my cervix.  Since I was a week overdue we made the decision to evict "Clarence".  Here are the details of our daughter (surprise!) Lillian Grace's birthday from start to finish.  Tommy and I couldn't be more in love with her and I may be biased but we have the cutest baby girl around!

The night before/morning of:
So Thursday I probably got a total of 1 hours sleep-at least I think.  My mind was racing and not because I was nervous but because I was so freaking excited.  This would be our last night as a family of two.  The next time we sleep in our bed our baby will be sleeping next to us! 

The worst part about it all (well up to that point) was the fact that I had to fast for 12 hours before the surgery.  Now it wouldn't be so bad except that my surgery was scheduled for 12:30pm...a long time to be awake with no food or drink.  The not eating part was fine.  I think I was just too excited to even be able to eat.  For me, not being able to drink (yup not even water) was hard.  I was even tempted to drink the hot shower water while I was getting ready for the hospital.  Other than that the morning was very relaxing for Tommy and I.  We got up and showered, watched a bit of tv, and then took some video footage of our last time in our house before bringing home the baby.  We just kept saying to each other:  This is the last time we will brush our teeth, walk down the stairs, turn off this light, walk out the door.  It was surreal.  I was actually really surprised at how relaxed I was.  Never before have I been a patient in a hospital let alone have any major surgery so really this was a BIG DEAL.  I am proud to say I was as cool as a cucumber (for now).  Looking back I had been so upset that I wouldn't experience that rush of a regular labor but this experience was great (not that I can compare it) but it was so relaxing and we had time to make sure we had everything, drive there without worrying if I would give birth on the side of 695, and we were able to concentrate on our excitement at meeting our little one!  Here is my last ever bump picture-all ready to go!

At the hospital:
We had to check into Labor and Delivery at 10:30am and on our way to check in we ran into a very important person in this whole process.  Dr. Hajj!!  He's SUCH a wonderful doctor and reassured me that having a c-section was going to be a-okay-he's the best around!  What's even better is that he also delivered Tommy as well as two of my nieces-Kelly and Emily.  Dr. Hajj's daughter was also expecting and wouldn't you know that she had her baby that morning!  Dr. Hajj seemed so excited and was ready to go visit his new granddaughter after he finished delivering our little one.  

 

We checked in and had to wait a bit before being called back to the prep room.  Sitting in the lobby I began to get a tad bit nervous...this was allowing me time to think about what was about to happen but what got me over that nervousness was the fact that we were going to be a family of 3 in just a few short hours and one last time we took our guesses as to if it will be a boy or a girl.  We were in for a surprise!  Here is Tommy waiting with excitement:

The prep:

Honestly THIS was probably the worst part of it all.  If you know me, needles, blood, guts, hospitals in general kinda freak me out.  I mean in 5th grade I passed out after looking at a picture of the female reproductive system!  The nurses were calling me boring after asking me a series of questions about my medical history and they were shocked that the worst thing that has ever happened to me health wise was that I broke my finger.  I distinctly remember her saying:  what about wisdom teeth?  Me:  Nope!  The nurse even called me skinny and I wanted to jump up a hug her! Here is a shot of me ready to get things started:

After getting all ready to start the nurse discovered Tommy had only coffee all morning and ordered him to get something to eat. She thought it was sweet he was being sympathetic to the fact I couldn't have anything but he needed to get over it!  hahaha!  Thank goodness she made him because the last thing I needed was for my husband to be in a hospital bed right next to me!  

While he was gone the icky stuff happened...first they had to give me my IV.  The nurse was  making small talk with me since she was having trouble finding a good vein.  At that time the anesthesiologist came in to talk with me and describe what his plan was.  Getting stuck with the IV at the same time I was being told how this big giant needle was going to be stuck into my spine got me NERVOUS!  I know legally he needed to tell me these things but I so wanted to scream at him to stop and the less I knew what was happening the better...but alas a vein was found I was stuck and I began to shiver.  Awesome Kel, you've made it this far without as much of a problem don't start now.  The nurse got me a cool compress for my neck and forehead and that helped a lot.  When Tommy came in a saw me like that HE started to get nervous and worried for me.  But I calmed down a bit to get a shot of him in his scrubs.  He looked so cute!    

 

The worst part still wasn't over...the dreaded catheter came next.  THIS is something that scared the dickens out of me.  I almost wanted to ask if they really NEEDED to do this...I mean I can hold my pee-I am a big girl.  HA!  The shivering started again.  Is it cold in here or is it just me?  I am guessing my nerves were just starting to show.  Tommy was great and held my hand...man talk about a new level of intimacy!  I was horrified to see that second after the catheter was in I peed!  I kept apologizing but it was so odd that you couldn't even feel yourself going.  After this all modesty went right out the window...If I thought this was bad I had no clue what was going to come next!  Here I am all ready to head to the OR-I don't look TOO nervous do I?:

 THE EVENT:

After that I was all set.  Tommy had to leave me while I was transferred to the OR for the spinal which I was now VERY nervous about.  I tried my best not too look at any of the tools or devices in the room and focused on the baby warmer in the corner.  In a few short minutes (and boy was it short) my baby will be laying in there.  MOTIVATION!  

I got on the table and to my relief Dr. Hajj stood in front of me and held my hand the entire time.  It was so nice and really calmed me down as I was stuck with the spinal.  OUCH!  As soon as it was over I immediately felt the tingling in my toes all the way up to my chest.  Weirdest feeling ever but I was good to go after that.  Meanwhile Tommy was waiting...and VERY nervous since when he last saw me I was shaking like a leaf.  Here is his perspective:

See the little angel on the window...it's a bit hard to see but Tommy told me later that it helped calm him down and he thought it was a sign that our little angel will be here VERY soon and all will be A-OK.  His nerves were calmed a bit when he was able to come into the room and as soon as I saw him I said:  "Hey what's up".  He was much more calm after he knew I was alright.  After that it was all a blur.  People were talking and bustling all around.  There were lots of people in the room to my surprise.  Pediatricians were there for the baby, another doctor to help Dr. Hajj, and lots of nurses and techs.  I just held Tommy's hand and focused on him.  I could tell something was going on and just felt slight tugging and poking but no pain at all.  I can remember what it felt like when they delivered the baby...it felt like they were tugging on my insides and felt very intense pressure and I remember saying to Tommy:  "Oh now that feels weird" only to then hear Dr. Hajj say:  Look at that hair!!!  Then some more intense tugging and the words we were waiting to hear for 9 months:  It's a GIRL!!!!!!  I just remember seeing the top of her head before she was whisked away to get checked out.  Tommy was able to go with her and the only thing that was going though my head is that I have a baby and she's a girl and I am so happy!  The tears just streamed down my face as soon as I heard her cry.   I could hear Tommy saying how cute she was and that she weighed 8 lbs 4.2 oz.  a healthy girl!!!  He brought over her little foot prints so I could see.  This was the part I was most disappointed about missing that you get by having a vaginal birth-the part where you get to hold your baby right away.  I ended up not being disappointed after all.  Actually I was really glad that Tommy got to have some of the first moments with our little Lillian Grace (we finalized both names for a boy and girl in the car on the way to the hospital) and that he was able to hold her and kiss her and show her to me for the first time.  She was beautiful in every way!  Its insane how the mommy (and daddy) switch just turns on the moment the baby arrives.  I felt like I had been a mom forever even though we were just meeting our little angel for the first time.  She was just waiting for the right moment to make her debut into our lives. 

Lillian (Lilly) Grace was born at 12:39pm..just 9 minutes after they began the process.  Thinking back this was so much easier than laboring for hours with the possibility of having a c-section anyway.  How lucky am I that the worst pain I felt were a few prods and pinches. 

The 'worst' part was waiting to be sewn all back up again and just dieing to hold little Lillian Grace!  The coolest part about the whole process was actually when they went to lift me from the operating table to the wheely bed (what are they even called?)  Because I couldn't feel anything below my boobs I felt like I was floating-pretty fun-if you can call it fun. 

Recovery:

I was transferred to recovery and was able to hold Lilly for the first time 30 minutes after we started the whole process.  It amazed me how quickly it all went.  Soon enough I was snuggling with my little girl thinking about all the cute clothes and accessories I can now get for her!  yeah!

I also attempted to feed her for the first time even though there wasn't anything really there for her to eat yet but I needed to get started.  In the recovery room Tommy and I just couldn't stop talking about the experience and I of course had to get his perspective on everything which is when he told me how he was feeling when he saw me shivering and then having to wait for me and how he noticed the angel on the window.  Not that I am at all surprised but Tommy is the BEST Daddy around.  I've never seen him so proud-she instantly was Daddy's girl:

After a few moments of bonding we realized that our parents were still waiting in the waiting room to hear the news.  Our moms especially were dieing!   We could only have one person at a time come back so Tommy went out to get each of them-all of them were surprised and excited and Tommy's mom was so sure it was a boy she had to make sure we weren't joking with her.  Here is Lilly meeting with each one of her grandparents:

 My mom

Tommy's mom

My dad

Tommy's dad

By the time the dad's came in we're pretty sure they knew it was a girl.  Our mom's faces gave it away!

Here is our first family picture still in the recovery room.  I had to wait until I could wiggle my toes a bit.   It's so weird how your face swells up.  I am actually still slightly swollen..not too much but I can tell because my wedding rings are snug-they didn't even get snug during my pregnancy! 

As much as I was disappointed initially by having to have a c-section, looking back it was a great experience with the bonus that I didn't have to tire myself out by going through labor.  After the surgery even though I was groggy a bit from the meds I felt great!  I call it mommy adrenaline and I've realized that this is something MUCH needed in order to get through those sleepless nights and late night feedings.  I was feeling so good that I kept thinking that there is no way I will need 4-5 days in the hospital (HA!  I laugh as I type this now).

 Once we were settled into our room (or as Tommy likes to refer to as the baby hotel) our parents were able to come in and visit us and Lillian Grace.  Here are a few pictures of our birthday celebration:

Aren't her feet darling!!!??  I love her wonder toe!

See-Wonder toes!!!

So alert and only a few hours old!

 We love our Lilly Grace!

The 5 day stay was MUCH needed!! The hardest part about having a c-section is the recovery.  I had no clue!  I do have to say that GBMC was wonderful and I am so glad I delivered there.  The nurses and staff were nothing but wonderful and we learned so much from them.  What I didn't realize after it was all over was how hard it would be to move around and how much you have to rely on people to help you do everything down to having your own 'diaper' changed (hence the modesty out the window comment from earlier).  I have to say that Tommy was GREAT.  From making sure I had everything I needed to taking care of Lilly when I couldn't.  He was Amazing!  Basically I could hold and feed her (and boy was feeding harder than I imagined!) and that's it for the first day and a half.  Tommy mastered the swaddle and the diaper change by the end of the night and we had decided since it had been a long tiring day that Lillian would stay in the nursery and come in for her feedings every 2-3 hours.  Little did I know how much sleep we wouldn't get since every 30 minutes a nurse, tech, lactacian specialist, nursery nurse, would be in and out of our room.  Since I was still hooked up to an IV and was still needing 'assistance' with peeing I guess I needed a lot of attention.  The next day was when I could get up and start moving around-WOW I really felt like an old lady!  I was hunched over and while my pain wasn't that great the discomfort stunk.  THIS is definitely one advantage to a vaginal birth as I saw ladies coming and going after giving birth and up and walking around.  The WORST-having to cough, sneeze or laugh...and it's hard not to laugh with this husband of mine!  

After the second day though I was up and about and while I still was taking it slow-I felt TONS better.  Once I could eat some solid foods, had a shower, put on some make-up, and changed out of the ugly hospital gown (and stopped using those gosh awful 'diapers') I was a new woman. 

Check out these babies (please note that I was sitting on top of the toilet seat...I wasn't actually peeing. 

Let me just tell you that while I discovered that motherhood is the best thing ever (yes even having to go through all the pain (ish) it made me realize just how much my husband loves me (not that I didn't know this before).  I mean he helped me do things and saw things that would make most men run the other way.  Instead he did all he could to help me and especially Lillian.  It makes me tear up to think of how he just jumped into being a Daddy like it was nothing.  He just looks at our daughter with so much love and I had to fight him a bit just to get to hold her more. 

So that is Lillian Grace's Birth Day story...of course there are more posts to come-MANY more I am sure-at least for the next 12 weeks of my maternity leave  (I've already written 5 of them in my head in the wee hours of the morning while feeding Lilly).

I am going to end this post with one more thing...  Having a baby-no matter how you do it-is one of the BEST experiences ever.  I mean you just cannot prepare for how much LOVE you feel for this one little being and how you just seem to forget about everything that just happened to you.  I just couldn't help just stare at her for hours on end thinking that I cannot believe she's ours!  We cannot wait to watch her grow-just hopefully not too fast!

Welcome to the world Lillian Grace!