Lilly had her first scary accident today...blame her unattentive parents. When getting ready for work our routine consists of me and Tommy dancing around eachother trying to brush teeth, hair, and some how spit tooth paste into the sink without getting it on each other. Today was no differant. We plopped Lilly in the middle of our HUGE (the fact that is huge is imporant to me making myself feel better) king sized bed, turned on Little Einsteins for a bit to keep her entertained while we did our thing. Now, usually as we are getting ready I consantly am checking on Lilly, making faces at her, while I dry my hair or do my make-up. Our bathroom is arms length from our bed. Today Tommy and I were working out our car swap/meeting up plan since we both have things to do after work and we somehow needed to exchange cars, the kiddo, and make it to our destiantions on time. As we were discussing, Lilly was in the middle of the bed cooing happily and I was applying mascara while Tommy picked some huge piece of lint from his eye-gross I know. It took maybe a minute or two...well apparently that's how long it takes for your child to make her way to the side of the bed and fall off. SHE FELL OFF!!! Just short of giving myself a corneal abraision with the mascara wand I dropped everything and scooped her up immediately looking over her for signs of bumps and bruises while Lilly did the whole hold her breath until she lets out a horrendous scream thing which immediatly stopped my beating heart. No bumps, no scrapes. Basically she just scared the bejeezus out of herself and me and Tommy. Cue to five seconds later when she was once again all smiles and giggles. Cue to me feeling guilty and feeling like a bad parent. I am sure this will be the first of MANY bumps and falls along the way as she becomes more active and mobile but this is certainly a small lesson for me that in a matter of seconds she can be rolling off a bed and gone are the days where we could put her somewhere and she would stay there.
To answer my own question-I know I am not a bad mom. Lilly is happy and healthy and came away barely traumatized by the whole thing. The question is did I? There are so many things we do as parents that have us questioning our abilities as a parent. A lot of that questioning comes into play when we are judged by someone because maybe they don't think it's right or because well they didn't do it that way so you shouldn't. We are judged by strangers, family, friends-even if it's not intentional. The one thing I do to reassure myself is to look at my smiling happy wonderful baby and know that I (and Tommy) am making the right decisions and that yes I am a good mom. I am Lilly's mom not John or Joe or Mary's mom- I am doing what is best for Lilly and my family, end of story. At the end of the day that is all that really matters. Yes we will make mistakes as parents, and we won't always make the perfect decisions but that's what it's all about-that's life.
So I've learned from this little mistake not to take my eyes of this kiddo now...or just put her on the floor with some toys. I love that little girl and as a mom I want to protect her as much as I can...while I still can! She will be 16 tomorrow and then I will be really a wreck...now I know why my mom couldn't go to sleep until I walked in that door! Love you mom-I get it now!
Hey Kelly- I've been reading your blog for a bit now. My baby girl is right around the same age as Lilly and just last week I sat her down on the couch and turned by back for .2 seconds and I hear her hit the ground. She cried, I cried, but within a couple of minutes she was over it and I still wasn't. Luckily every mom I have talked to said it may have been the first time but it will not be the last time she falls down. Those sweet babies are tougher than they look! Doesn’t make it any easier on us though.
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