The second time around: Essentials for ME-post baby

The second time around I like to think I have somewhat of a clue as to what I will need post baby.  After Lilly I had no clue and it really resulted in me not really taking care of me.  I was so concerned with her needs that I just made do and really found myself feeling frumpy and icky and just plain BLAH.  I really didn't take care of myself, workout, dress myself.  I just didn't really care anymore.  I wanted to share this post for a few reasons.  1.  Maybe a first time mom reading this will find it really helpful.  2. A second time mom may recall what it was like!  3.  I want to remember and actually not talk the talk but walk the walk this time around!  and 4.  I see so many posts about what moms will do different FOR the second baby and hardly any about what they are going to do differently for themselves.

Here are some of the big things I 'lost' when I had Lilly and what I plan on doing differently (for me) this time around. 

1.  Getting Dressed/Taking care of myself

After I had Lilly I did NOT have the slightest clue how to dress my 'new body'.  Boobs, tummy, flab...how the heck do you make that look good!?  I gained about 40 pounds with Lilly (yikes) and before having her I was a size 4/6 with abs and barely a B bra.  AFTER Lilly I had a gut, was heavier than I ever was and still wore maternity pants and when I did get real pants they were 10's and 12's and went up to a D cup-yup you heard that right!  Not to mention my hair was falling out, I barely fixed it, and started using box dye. I gave up on myself and it showed.

This time I will be prepared!!!  I know being a mom for the first, second, third etc time isn't glamorous.  We get pooped on, peed on, our hormones are out of wack, our bodies are trying to get back to functioning normal and it's just a mess.  How some women seem so put together after birth boggles my mind because I certainly was NOT one of those women and I am sure I won't be this time around.

Even though I still may feel less than glamorous, I am hoping to feel a little more put together because maybe it will help me FEEL like a normal human woman and not some lactating, smelling, greasy haired monster and the rest will follow?  I sure hope so!

With 5 weeks to go buying any new maternity clothing is not an option-unless you count the one short sleeved shirt I purchased to feel a little springy-since the weather is finally showing signs of warming up!  I have been focusing on my post maternity wear which for me will be nursing tops and comfy preferably elastic waist or draw string capris and shorts.  I've purchased a few items and for some reason I feel that just in 2 years since having Lilly the nursing top selection has become stylish and not so "I'm wearing a nursing top everyone!!!".  Here are some of my picks that I've purchased to make that transition back to normal clothing and hopefully will start getting back into the swing of things!

Nursing tops/tanks:

I bought this one in both the neon striped and purple.  It's a nice material and it's cute!

I also bought this style top in a few solid colors as well.  I plan to pair these with..

These.  I already owned a black open front cardi from target and I've still been able to wear it during my pregnancy while these technically are maternity I love the fabric (light cotton jersey) and they will go great over the nursing tops/tanks I have.  I have a white and grey one. 

I do have a few nursing tops (that don't require me to wear a cardigan to hide my arms!) from when I had Lilly but I did splurge and get a cute nursing top from Pea in the Pod.  With the sales they have going on now and some coupons I did end up getting a deal!

Along with the tops I also realized that I just MAY need some bottoms.  I didn't want to get anything with buttons and zippers yet-I own a few larger pairs of jeans and shorts I can wear if they fit but I KNOW I won't be wearing them too soon after so I wanted a few lighter/summery and comfortable items to wear around the house and for running errands, vacation, etc. and I know will fit without having to try on.  My go to for cheap items like these is Old Navy.  I got gaucho's, a jersey fold over skirt, and a pair of draw string shorts.  These should get me through my maternity leave all summer and vacation along with a few flowy dresses I already own. 

I am ready for the warm weather and to stop wearing my maternity clothes!  Looking forward to cleaning out my closet, donating some "let's face it you won't be wearing that for a LOOOONG time" clothing and snuggling at home all summer with my two babies. 


2. Go with the freakin flow!

Doing ^ this is hard for me.  I make a plan, have a schedule and when it doesn't go accordingly sometimes (maybe) I have some slight anxiety and perhaps make a bigger deal than actually needs be (my husband is probably TOTALLY agreeing with this one right now).  Throw a kid into the mix and you have no schedule and just nothing ever really goes as planned.  Lilly does really well with routine-and most children do- but lets be real you cannot possibly do the same exact 'routine' every. single.day-life happens. I admit I try to control situations all too much.  I've SLOWLY been learning to let things go.  My pictures of my kids aren't going to be perfect as much as I try, my plans may fall through, I may not be able to get it ALL done, and I need to be more ok with that.  I cannot begin to imagine what it's like with 2 kids.  My grandmother MUST have been one laid back lady to have 7 kids!!!  Maybe that's why she's so lucky-karma-that's her reward for being a SAINT.  My goal with baby #2 is just to go with the flow-I may not be able to change it totally-I am pretty sure I will always be type A-but I can harness it a bit-for the sake of my children AND my husband.  :)   

3.  Take time for me (and us). 

Ah the dreaded mom guilt.  Don't say you won't, haven't, or don't get it.  You will, you have (liar), and you will one day.  I think SAHM's AND working moms have it-it's not unique.  Taking time for myself (and WORK does not count-although I do see the argument for why it can be but I am not getting into a working mom vs. SAHM debate) is something that is hard to do.  I am always thinking/worrying that someone is going to judge me, Lilly will one day hate me for it, or whatever!  It really makes the time I do take to shop for myself, get my hair done, get a pedicure, etc. not at all enjoyable.  TRUST me.  You deserve it and if you want to feel good about yourself and ultimately taking time for you AND you and your husband (remember him?)  will make you a better parent-I am seeing that now.  Ok you may not always feel 100% guiltless-I am sure I never will-but don't NOT do things for you or your relationship because you feel guilty.  I have JUST started being ok with this and while I still feel the need to rush home, or check in after 5 minutes of being gone I am starting to see the need  and when number 2 comes it's going to be all the more challenging and all the more necessary. 

4.  Simplify!

As organized as I am everyone has that ONE thing they totally SUCK at organizing-remember Monica's closet?!    Well mine is paperwork....I suck at keeping paperwork organized.  As we near time for the baby to arrive my goal is to get it in check.  The shredder will be my friend AND our file cabinet.  I need to toss things that aren't needed and save the items and file the things we do need.  Right now I have some of Lilly's documents in my sock drawer.  At least I know where it is but it really should not be there!  Simplifying can be the only way to describe what I need to do.  Space is a big issue so keeping small little things and extra paper around the house just gives me itchy belly.  Organizing paperwork, donating items we really do not need, and to stop bringing 'stuff' into the house that doesn't get used or we need are goals of mine.  Bringing another child into a house that is smallish with no storage we NEED to be more focused on this.  We have gotten better over the years but I want to be a rock star. 

4.5.  Stick to it!

Those are my top 4 items on my life list for now.  I am setting goals and sticking to them this time around.  Sure it's going to be more challenging with 2 kids and in the back of my mind I am saying to myself that I won't make it to the shower most mornings and that may be true! For my sanity I just need to remember that I matter too! 

Mom's out there-what do you do for yourself that keeps you sane?